In Her Eyes I Saw Myself
After a night of prayer,
I opened my eyes
to a beautiful presence floating above me.
Surrounded by purple roses,
she felt familiar—
loving, protective.
The name that came to me
was Lakshmi.
And as I looked into her eyes,
I recognized my own face.
I felt held.
I felt seen.
In her eyes,
I saw myself.
Some experiences leave us searching for words.
This was one of them.
I remember her long, dark curls. Her brown skin, so much like mine. The purple roses surrounding her. But what continues to move me most is the moment I looked more closely into her face.
I wanted to see who was before me.
And I recognized myself.
I carry that morning as a deeply personal spiritual experience. I cannot explain every part of it. What I can share is the tenderness I felt, and the questions it opened within me.
What would it mean to see myself with that much Love?
To receive the kindness I have so freely offered others?
To recognize my own beauty without needing someone else to confirm it?
For so long, I had known myself through what was needed of me. The responsibilities I carried. The relationships I tried to hold together. The ways I had learned to quiet my own voice.
Returning to myself has taken time.
There has been heartbreak. Grief. Uncertainty. There have been difficult choices and days when beginning again felt overwhelming.
And there has also been beauty.
Conversations softening. Relationships finding room to grow. Creativity returning. Moments of laughter and the quiet pleasure of feeling at home within my own life.
I am learning that gratitude and grief can live beside one another. That I can still be healing and also allow myself to feel happy.
When I remember that loving gaze, I return to a possibility:
Perhaps I can learn to look at myself with that same tenderness.
Perhaps there is room to receive.
The Divine Within
From these reflections came The Divine Within: A Journey of Blessing, Reflection, and Freedom.
This 53-page digital journal brings together my personal writing, floral artwork, affirmations, and guided reflections. It moves through three invitations:
The Blessing — opening your heart to receive Love and notice the blessings already unfolding in your life.
The Reflection — meeting yourself with compassion, listening to your voice, and recognizing your worth.
The Freedom — making room for your truth, your choices, and the person you are becoming.
You begin with a letter to your future self and return to it near the end, with space to notice what has shifted and what still feels tender.
There is no required transformation. No deadline for becoming. You are welcome to move slowly, pause, and return whenever you wish.
I created the accompanying video to give these feelings another form: purple roses, pink lotuses, light, and glimpses of the life I am learning to cherish.
I offer both the video and this journal with gratitude for the experience that inspired them—and with reverence for Lakshmi.
My hope is that these pages offer you a quiet place to hear yourself again.
A place to remember that your voice matters.
That you are allowed to receive.
And that your life still holds room to unfold.
From my heart to yours,
Stephanie
Heart heals. Love creates. Yoga moves.